1 00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:05,238 Good evening, friends, 2 00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:07,941 and welcome to the Good Time Gospel Hour. 3 00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:12,379 I have a vision, a beautiful vision. 4 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:15,115 A vision that's larger than life. 5 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:18,318 And I need to ask you to reach deep 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,821 and I mean all the way down to the bottom of your pockets 7 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,424 and send in all of your cash. 8 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:28,395 Remember, if it doesn't hurt, it's not charity. 9 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,631 That's the Good Time Gospel Hour. 10 00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:36,136 Father Daddy Baba, P.O. Box 461339, 11 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:40,240 Hollywood, California 90046. 12 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:20,880 Oh, shit! 13 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:31,691 I said, no! 14 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,229 Why not? 15 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,331 Because I'm not ready. 16 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,868 Not ready? 17 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,369 That's right. 18 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,139 Oh, great! Thanks a lot. 19 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,474 My bra too? 20 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,776 What? All I did was unsnap it. 21 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,478 The snaps in the back, bozo. 22 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,413 You ripped it. 23 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:57,450 Christy, how long do we have to wait? 24 00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,953 We've been going together since the beginning of time. 25 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,288 This is our third date. 26 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,757 The longest three dates of my life. 27 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,231 Jer, I've gotten into more trouble because of you 28 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:13,299 than with anybody else I've ever known. 29 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:14,868 Like when? 30 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,870 Like when? 31 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,739 Like when you put firecrackers in the tampon dispenser in 32 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,542 the girls room and I was suspended for three days. 33 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,546 And when you charged $180 34 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:29,682 of 976-PARTY to my father's credit card. 35 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,184 Hey, I'm planning to pay that back. 36 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,055 My parents think I've lost it. 37 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,024 One more thing and I'm grounded for life. 38 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:39,692 They're strict. 39 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,228 What time is it? 40 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:46,165 Relax, it's only 9:30. 41 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:49,302 I had to promise I'd be back by 10:00 just so they'd let 42 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:54,941 Wait a minute, what time was it last time I asked you? 43 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,577 You know, 9:30 sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it? 44 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:01,381 And what time was it the time before that? 45 00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,349 Uh-oh 46 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:10,657 Hey, it's not my fault, it stopped! 47 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,892 Just shut up and step on it. 48 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,169 Hi. 49 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,671 Do you know what time it is? 50 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,607 Uh, 9:30? 51 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:04,010 It's 12:44. 52 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:05,712 Care to clue us in where you've been 53 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,614 for the past six hours? 54 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,415 We were worried sick. 55 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,883 Shut up, Margaret! 56 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,085 I can explain. 57 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,686 See, Jerry's watch stopped. 58 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,055 So, the Kaminski kid. 59 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,290 I might have known! 60 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,258 We didn't do anything wrong. 61 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,294 Oh? Nothing you'd have to make an 62 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,329 extra trip to confession for? 63 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:24,631 No! 64 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,566 You better not be lying! 65 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,268 We didn't I swear! 66 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,205 Holy handfuls! 67 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,153 That's it, young lady! 68 00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:48,821 You're going to Catholic school! 69 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,926 ♪ I thought you'd understand 70 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,664 ♪ When I led you by the hand 71 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,967 ♪ That I'd never make you go 72 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,836 ♪ Unless you wanted to 73 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,774 ♪ Come on now 74 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,678 ♪ I'm the guy who will show you what it's all about 75 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:15,014 ♪ Oh, I've got to know 76 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,949 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 77 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,319 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 78 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:24,691 ♪ Now you're telling him 79 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:28,695 ♪ Everything you used to say to me and more 80 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:33,399 ♪ And you know very well that I think he's a joke! ♪ 81 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,571 ♪ Come on now 82 00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:42,108 ♪ I'm a guy who will show you what it's all about 83 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:45,545 ♪ Oh, I've got to know 84 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,513 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 85 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,850 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 86 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,287 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 87 00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:00,326 ♪ You were gonna make me cry 88 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:07,834 ♪ You were gonna make me wonder why 89 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:13,306 ♪ You were gonna make me 90 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,109 ♪ Think about the times you lied 91 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,278 ♪ You hurt me so 92 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,247 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 93 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,817 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 94 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,287 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 95 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:32,058 ♪ Why'd you have to go? 96 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,693 I'm serious. I tried everything. 97 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,795 I wined her, dined her, changed my underwear. 98 00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:36,996 The works. 99 00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:38,197 So we're up at the point 100 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,600 and I figure it's time to make my move. 101 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:43,236 I turn to her and bam! She's out like a light. 102 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,072 Dude, what'd you do? 103 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,707 What any real man would do. 104 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,042 I figured it was time to take a few liberties. 105 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,278 So I'm a half a heartbeat away from the valley of my 106 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,814 ultra-vixen, she snaps out of her coma and 107 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:58,050 throws me back like a side of beef in the barnyard. 108 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,585 No! 109 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,454 Even the watch gag failed. 110 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,556 Jeez, you tried the watch gag again? 111 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,025 If the shoe fits, don't fix it. 112 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,727 How about your famous, I'm so in love with you 113 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,097 I couldn't control myself and can't live without you line? 114 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,732 I'll call her tonight. 115 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:26,813 Hello. Christy isn't here. We've sent her to boarding school 116 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,482 away from the influence of losers. 117 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,384 Like you, Kaminski! 118 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:34,020 Anyway, Christy isn't here. 119 00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,722 So don't call here anymore. 120 00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:37,990 Get it? 121 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,058 Got it? 122 00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:40,193 Good! 123 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:46,833 Kaminski's a loser, loser, Kaminski, brawk! 124 00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,970 Well let's go. Dad! 125 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,805 Give me another chance, please? 126 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,740 I promise I won't mess up. 127 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,777 Ten years from now you'll thank me for this, Christy. 128 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,979 I think you'll find that a year without 129 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,815 sex, drugs and rock n' roll 130 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,117 is just what the doctor ordered. 131 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,920 How can you be so sure this is going to make any difference? 132 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:11,824 Well, if it doesn't, there's another school that will, 133 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,560 Godthab Academy. 134 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,462 Godthab, where's that? 135 00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,897 Greenland. 136 00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,199 Greenland. 137 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,969 Anybody have to go potty before we leave? 138 00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:25,304 Please. 139 00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:33,880 Oh, hello! 140 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,482 You must be Mr. and Mrs. Murphy. 141 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:38,317 Sister. 142 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:40,720 How do you do? 143 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,223 Oh, and this is Christy I take it. 144 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:45,958 Hello. 145 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,693 Speak up, Christy. 146 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:48,761 Hi! 147 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,797 She is a spunky one isn't she? 148 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,567 I'd say too much for her own good, Sister. 149 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,369 Three years of public school 150 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,537 has turned this girl into a libertine. 151 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,240 Oh, my goodness! 152 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,308 Dad! 153 00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:04,277 She needs a year away from the influence of 154 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,945 sex, drugs and 155 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,047 What's the other thing? 156 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,216 Rock and roll! 157 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:11,817 Right! 158 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,054 Well, I can assure you, Mr. Murphy. 159 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:18,524 There will be none of that around here. 160 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,427 We turn out proper young ladies. 161 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,296 He's kicking! He's kicking! Oh! 162 00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,532 Uh! 163 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:30,136 Are you ready to become a proper young lady, Christy? 164 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,140 Yeah. 165 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:38,277 There you go. She's learning already. 166 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,579 We have mass every morning at 7:00 a.m. 167 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:43,015 Classes from 8:00 until 3:00. 168 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:46,919 There will be no records, no TVs, no radios, 169 00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:51,424 no loud talking, no slouching, no immodest hairdos, 170 00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:54,627 no uncovered sneezing, in fact there will be nothing 171 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:57,163 of any kind in the dormitories. 172 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,365 Any questions? No. 173 00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:02,168 Just follow these rules and these will be the best 174 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,070 years of your life. 175 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,505 Kathleen is our senior dorm monitor. 176 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,909 Any questions or problems, go to Kathleen. 177 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,245 Hi, Sister Romona. It's so nice to see you. 178 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,215 Kathleen, this is Christy Murphy. 179 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,017 She'll be staying on your floor. 180 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:21,320 Oh, how super! It's so nice to meet you Christy. 181 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,122 Same here. 182 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,623 Well, why don't you get her settled in 183 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,158 and I'll bring her luggage up. 184 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,794 Right away, Sister. It'll be my pleasure! 185 00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,267 Attention virgins, there will 186 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:39,271 be no lambada dancing permitted in the dormitory. 187 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,842 That dance is forbidden. I repeat, 188 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,911 that dance is forbidden. 189 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,249 So you're the new inmate? 190 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:51,717 Huh? 191 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,552 What are you in for? 192 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,555 Dope? 193 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,591 Sex? 194 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,292 No, actually, it's all a misunderstanding 195 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,627 by my parents. 196 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,297 Right. 197 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,601 Listen, I'll give it to you straight. 198 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,037 The rule around here is you play by my rules 199 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,938 and I don't sic the nuns on you. 200 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,308 You stick with that and we'll get along just fine. 201 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,249 Ah! 202 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:25,751 Jesus Christ, McBride. 203 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:26,919 Who are you? 204 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,587 Christy Murphy. 205 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,322 She's your new roommate. 206 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,425 Theresa McBride, Melanie Baines. 207 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,326 Oh, hi. Hi. 208 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,195 Hi. Hi, nice to meet you. 209 00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:39,098 I'll leave you lovebirds to get acquainted. 210 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,302 Oh, and make sure you tell her about the 211 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,438 Poor Pagan Children's Fund. 212 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,312 So what is the Poor Pagan Children's Fund? 213 00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,347 It's this pool that we have to contribute $5.00 214 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,049 to every week. 215 00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,018 Administered by Kathleen, 216 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,319 if you get my meaning. 217 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,154 God damn, what a bitch! 218 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,056 I heard that! 219 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:10,429 So, do you guys ever have any fun around here? 220 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,931 Oh sure we have lots of fun. 221 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,666 Is there ever any boys around? 222 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,402 Oh no. Boys are not allowed on campus, 223 00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:18,237 at least until the big formal. 224 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:20,706 Wonderful. 225 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:25,978 You would be well advised to nip that attitude problem 226 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:27,880 right in the bud and get 227 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:31,350 on with the program. Because if you don't 228 00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:37,590 Oh, Sister Romona, let me help you. 229 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:40,326 Oh that's all right I've got it. 230 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,428 How are we getting along here? 231 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:43,562 Great! 232 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,531 Hi, Derek. Hi, girls. 233 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,602 Christy, this is Derek, the campus security guard. 234 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,904 He's our hero. 235 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,572 Right, Derek? 236 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,842 Right. 237 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,545 Come on, Derek, I better go get that trunk. 238 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:03,415 You can hold the door for me. 239 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,817 Bye, girls. 240 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,557 You remember what I said. 241 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:19,565 Oh, Dick? 242 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,034 Hmm? 243 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,068 You know I've been thinking. 244 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,172 Yeah? 245 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,707 Maybe it won't be so bad having Christy 246 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,376 out of the house now. 247 00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:31,710 How so? 248 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,049 Hey, do you guys mind hurrying up? 249 00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:12,484 Easy, Theo, I'm gonna need a good 15 to 20 minutes 250 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,286 just to coil it out. 251 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,089 Just a pinch between the cheek and gum. 252 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,324 Ahh! 253 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,460 You know many parts are edible. 254 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,162 You guys are disgusting. 255 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,231 Hey, I'm just getting to the good part. 256 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,233 Oh, that's it, I'm gonna puke. 257 00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,640 You know, guys, I've been thinking. 258 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,578 If clowns like Stallone and Norris can 259 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,146 lambada in and out of Nam 260 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,182 like a couple of cats climbing a tree, 261 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,217 should be a piece of cake for a threesome of smooth 262 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,086 operators such as ourselves 263 00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,488 to crack the parochial padlock on Virgin High. 264 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:51,824 So you cats up for a little 265 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:54,193 espionage-o-logical expedition? 266 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,263 Guys, there's no toilet paper in here. 267 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,165 Later, Zoom. 268 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,401 Hey guys this isn't funny. 269 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,670 I had Mexican food! 270 00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,805 You guys! 271 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,407 Hey! 272 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,808 Get back here! 273 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,951 So, it was at the Council of Trent they made the 274 00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:22,454 all-important decree of what? Who? Anybody. 275 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,925 Melanie. Justification. 276 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,727 Very good. The Decree of Justification, 277 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:32,965 which condemned that nasty thing called what? 278 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,935 Yes, Melanie? Pelagianism. 279 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,203 Pelagianism. Very good. 280 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:41,840 I'm glad someone is thinking. 281 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:46,145 Now, all of this would not have been necessary, of course, 282 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:48,981 had it not been for that sneaky little twerp, 283 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:53,786 Mr. Martin Luther, who is guilty of having started the what? 284 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:56,622 Kathleen. 285 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,693 The civil rights movement? 286 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,628 Oh, good heavens, no. 287 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:03,962 Christy? 288 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,164 The Protestant Revolt. 289 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,299 Yes, the Protestant Revolt 290 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,235 and don't ever say the Reformation. 291 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,107 Well now, girls, the um 292 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,009 Bishop has decreed 293 00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:22,014 that from now on our school must teach sex education. 294 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,083 So, everyone pay attention. 295 00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:29,021 The sperm fertilizes the egg, the egg becomes a zygote, 296 00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:32,658 the zygote becomes an embryo, the embryo becomes a fetus, 297 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,560 the fetus grows, you get fat and have a baby. 298 00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,428 Are there any questions? 299 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,832 For tomorrow, chapter 23 in the religion text. 300 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:43,102 Staying Off The Slippery Slide to Hell. 301 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,770 Class dismissed. 302 00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,908 Ah! I'm so sorry, Christy. 303 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:53,278 What a big klutz I am! Let me help you. 304 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,981 You owe $25 to the Poor Pagan Children's Fund 305 00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:58,884 and you better pay up by Friday, or else. 306 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,853 Here you go, hon. 307 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:16,001 Mr. Casey is ill. 308 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:19,671 So I'll be filling in for him today here at Roosevelt. 309 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:24,743 My name is Ms. Bush 310 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:29,281 and today's science subject 311 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:39,191 Is sex education. 312 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,927 Okay. 313 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,496 Sex. 314 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:51,970 What is it and what can it do for you? 315 00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,008 Well, at the end of class 316 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:58,510 we'll have a little demonstration. 317 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:02,414 But first let's discuss the basics. 318 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,458 The sex organs, 319 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:19,965 one hundred and one ways in which they are aroused. 320 00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,715 Hey, Zoomer, do you gotta do that here? 321 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,650 Hey, I got plaque, do you mind? 322 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,985 Yeah, I do mind. 323 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,187 Well, I have a newsflash, fuck you! 324 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,290 Would you guys chill out? 325 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:52,598 Man, I hate this! Every day we come up here after school 326 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,333 and we stand around with our thumbs up our asses. 327 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,235 Whose fault is that? 328 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,670 My point is we don't ever do anything. 329 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,806 I mean there's a whole world full of action out there and 330 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:02,641 we're sitting around here picking our teeth 331 00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:03,742 with a coat hanger. 332 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,911 Yeah, you're right Theo. We never do shit! 333 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,246 We gotta get where the grins are. 334 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,413 You said it, Zoomer. 335 00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:10,048 Well, let's get out of here. What do you say? 336 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,116 Right around you, dude! 337 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,818 Do we cruise or what's the news? 338 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,120 All the way, jock patrol! 339 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:19,791 Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 340 00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,361 We're out of here. 341 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:25,197 You with us, Jer? Sure, where we going? 342 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,266 Umm? 343 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:30,269 You know guys, your problem is a very simple one, 344 00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,838 you've got no babes. 345 00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,573 Really? Well, I haven't noticed you getting your 346 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:35,874 weenie roasted lately. 347 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,643 Yeah, but in my case, it's because they sent my 348 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,710 squeeze to boarding school. 349 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:39,778 Zoomer is right. 350 00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,747 I mean, let's face it, were washouts with chicks. 351 00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:42,915 Yeah, damn it. 352 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,249 But it's not our fault is it? 353 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:47,386 Maybe you guys just aren't cool enough. 354 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:52,824 Oh, no, Jerry, we are definitely cool enough. 355 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,927 We are the polar ice caps of coolness. 356 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,830 We just have the law of supply and demand working against us. 357 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,399 You know maybe you guys are right. 358 00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:04,002 I mean, even I can't get a new babe and I invented coolness. 359 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,538 So, what are you going to do about it, frosty? 360 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,807 I've got a plan. All right. 361 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,742 You guys stick with me and we'll get the law of 362 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:13,245 supply and demand to work for us for a change. 363 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,854 Foul! No way! 364 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,257 You fouled me, Murphy, everyone saw! 365 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,692 You charged. 366 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,294 I say foul. Foul stands. 367 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,363 My free throw. 368 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,901 Woo-hoo-hoo! 369 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,459 Behold the denizens of the Academy of the Blessed Virgin. 370 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:01,760 Virgin High? 371 00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:03,262 Ow! 372 00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:05,464 Easy, Zoom, don't make me get the fire hose. 373 00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:07,366 Oh, come on. Get real here, Jerry. 374 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,967 These are Catholic girls we're talking about. 375 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,170 So? So you know how it is with Catholic girls. 376 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,740 You can looky, but you no touchy. 377 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,108 Oh, ye of little faith. 378 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:19,378 Let's get in there and slurp up a little poontang. 379 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:20,679 What? 380 00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,514 Come on, what are we waiting for? Let's go get 'em! 381 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,449 Zoomer, in case you haven't noticed, 382 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,952 this is a private Catholic girls' school, 383 00:21:26,985 --> 00:21:28,987 surrounded by an eight foot fence 384 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,122 and guarded by nuns who 385 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:33,292 probably carry guns, chains and hand grenades. 386 00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,594 Theo, you have to understand that nuns are merely 387 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,828 a state of mind. 388 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,097 With the right attitude and a skillful plan, 389 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,533 there's no reason why a group of smart studly gauchos 390 00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:44,069 like us can't have the run of the candy store. 391 00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:45,871 And you've got such a plan I presume. 392 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,540 It's a two prong plan, listen closely. 393 00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:49,841 Prong number one, 394 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,977 Zoomer, put your tongue back in your mouth. 395 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,712 You look like a basset hound. 396 00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:54,913 Prong number two, 397 00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:56,948 you guys go back and wait in the car, 398 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,017 I'll go inside and scope things out. 399 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,886 As soon as I have the situation in hand, 400 00:22:00,919 --> 00:22:02,354 I wave you guys in. 401 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:05,891 You come on down, being real cool, like you belong here. 402 00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:08,226 You're just going to walk in the gate? 403 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,362 You got it. It's too simple. 404 00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,564 The brilliant plans always are. 405 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,366 Gentlemen 406 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,711 Can I help you? No. 407 00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:29,381 Can you tell me what business you have here? 408 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,816 I'd like to, but I can't. 409 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,752 Well, then I'm afraid I can't let you in. 410 00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:35,887 If you must know, 411 00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,356 I'm an official emissary from the Vatican. 412 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:40,592 They sent me over here to sort of check-up on 413 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,327 some of the girls, give them a couple of interviews, 414 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,963 check up on the morals of today's youth. 415 00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:48,166 It's an order that comes directly from you know who. 416 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,235 Uh-huh. 417 00:22:50,268 --> 00:22:52,370 Sounds like a crock to me. 418 00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,506 Oh it does, does it? Yup. 419 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,041 Well, does the word excommunication 420 00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:57,943 mean anything to you? 421 00:22:57,976 --> 00:22:59,444 Nope. 422 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:01,480 It doesn't? 423 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:04,149 I'm not a Catholic. 424 00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,718 Then I can let you off the hook! 425 00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:09,554 Nice try, Sherlock. 426 00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:11,590 Now, why don't you get out of here 427 00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:13,859 and don't come back. 428 00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:15,727 Got it. 429 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,562 I'll see ya. 430 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:25,837 Well, Einstein? 431 00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,639 We're going to need a new plan. 432 00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:45,490 Do you guys ever get horny? 433 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,092 Christy! 434 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,095 You two are terrible! 435 00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,830 I never have those kind of thoughts. 436 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,167 Oh, come off it, Theresa. 437 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,601 I don't! 438 00:23:56,635 --> 00:23:59,204 Unlike the two of you, I intend to bypass purgatory 439 00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:01,072 altogether and go straight to heaven. 440 00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:02,941 Right. 441 00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:06,378 And you mean to say, if Derek walked in here right now, 442 00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:08,146 stone-cold naked, 443 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,416 and he said, 444 00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:14,920 Theresa, I'm madly in love with you 445 00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:21,226 I crave your firm young body. 446 00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:22,394 Will you two cut it out? 447 00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:25,764 I want to rip the clothes from your creamy white flesh 448 00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:29,234 and caress your soft supple breasts. 449 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,836 No, please, no! 450 00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:34,673 We'll drown together in a sea of unbridled passion. 451 00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:40,378 We'll have simultaneous, multiple orgasms. 452 00:24:43,582 --> 00:24:45,517 Oh, no! Ahh! 453 00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:07,272 Ohh! 454 00:25:24,956 --> 00:25:26,091 Whew. 455 00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:33,765 Let's do it again! 456 00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:36,534 Oh, I'd love to but I've got homework to do. 457 00:25:36,568 --> 00:25:37,836 Oh, come on. 458 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,839 Now, who was it that got you a key to the Coke machine? 459 00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,407 It was me, wasn't it? 460 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,942 Derek, Derek, Derek. 461 00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:45,977 Surely you've heard of the concept of 462 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:48,113 reasonable value for services rendered. 463 00:25:48,146 --> 00:25:49,814 Now, come on. It's time to scoot! 464 00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:51,249 No, no! 465 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:54,653 I'm a little bit tired of this arrangement. 466 00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:56,554 I mean I stuck my neck out for you. 467 00:25:56,588 --> 00:25:58,189 I smuggled beer in here, 468 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,759 I got you those answers to that test 469 00:26:00,792 --> 00:26:02,561 and all I seem to get for my troubles 470 00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:05,430 is one little quickie. 471 00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,967 Derek, did you ever think that maybe 472 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,636 I'm saving something special for you? 473 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,040 Yeah, what? 474 00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:18,810 I can't tell you exactly, 475 00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:22,581 but it does involve a bicycle chain, 476 00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:25,884 a cucumber, 477 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,320 and six cans of happy whip. 478 00:26:29,988 --> 00:26:31,990 Yeah? 479 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:35,894 Now, about Sister Gregorio's attendance sheet. 480 00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:52,277 Okay, I've got it! We go up front of Virgin High, see. 481 00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:54,579 We're tossing the football back and forth. 482 00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:57,115 Then I send you out for a long pass. 483 00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:58,550 Now, here's the catch. 484 00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:00,452 I overthrow the ball. 485 00:27:00,485 --> 00:27:02,687 Get it? I overthrow the ball, 486 00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:04,189 it goes over the gate. 487 00:27:04,222 --> 00:27:06,658 They let us through to get the ball, and we're in. 488 00:27:06,691 --> 00:27:07,859 Simple as that. 489 00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:10,695 Right, Zoomer. I'm sure that the security guard is just 490 00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:13,264 going to ask us to stay for dinner because we threw our 491 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:15,133 football through a stained-glass window. 492 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:17,102 Oh, yeah, what's your brilliant idea 493 00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,503 Mr. Potato-Chip-Up-the-Butt? 494 00:27:19,237 --> 00:27:21,806 How about moving on? 495 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,108 Finding some girls with 496 00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:25,310 intelligence and insight, 497 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:28,279 with depth and wisdom. 498 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,715 A girl who has something to say. 499 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,021 Theo, be serious. 500 00:27:36,054 --> 00:27:38,123 Anyways, I've got an idea. 501 00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:52,170 Kaminski, this is definitely the dumbest 502 00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:54,406 thing you've done yet. 503 00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:56,041 Do you want to meet those girls or what? 504 00:27:56,074 --> 00:27:58,276 Bring them back alive, J-Man! 505 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:24,769 Hello, Father. 506 00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:28,173 Hello, Father. 507 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,041 Hi, Papa. 508 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,634 Father! Ahh! 509 00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,903 Oh, I'm sorry, did I startle you? 510 00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:00,638 No, actually I just, uh, inspected 511 00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:02,006 the water fountain over here. 512 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,441 Boy, cold. 513 00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:06,511 I'm Sister Felicia, the principal. 514 00:29:06,544 --> 00:29:08,313 I'm Father Guus. 515 00:29:09,314 --> 00:29:10,849 Father Goose? 516 00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:13,351 Guus, it's Dutch. 517 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:17,288 Well, you must have just been ordained. 518 00:29:17,322 --> 00:29:19,090 Accelerated. 519 00:29:19,124 --> 00:29:20,859 We haven't seen you here before. 520 00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:23,294 Is there something we can do for you? 521 00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:25,363 Actually, the Bishop did send me over here to 522 00:29:25,396 --> 00:29:27,599 sort of check up on things. 523 00:29:27,632 --> 00:29:29,167 Which bishop? 524 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,535 Bishop, uh 525 00:29:32,704 --> 00:29:33,738 Who? 526 00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:35,173 Bishop 527 00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:36,674 Bishop Haughness? 528 00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:37,909 That's right, him. 529 00:29:37,942 --> 00:29:40,712 I can't imagine why he would 530 00:29:40,745 --> 00:29:44,215 Oh, yes of course, Bishop Haughness. 531 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:46,818 Well Father, we are delighted to have you with us. 532 00:29:46,851 --> 00:29:49,821 My pleasure. Oh, please, do make yourself at home. 533 00:29:49,854 --> 00:29:52,457 In fact, why don't I show you to the rectory 534 00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:54,559 and you can meet some of the other priests. 535 00:29:54,592 --> 00:29:56,227 Well I really wouldn't want 536 00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:58,296 Sister Felicia! 537 00:29:58,329 --> 00:29:59,797 Oh, excuse me Father. 538 00:29:59,831 --> 00:30:00,899 Yes, Sister, what is it? 539 00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:02,167 Felicia we have a problem. 540 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,336 Sister Molano Voloce has taken a vow of silence and 541 00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:08,273 we have nobody to take her theology class. 542 00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,374 Can't you take it? 543 00:30:09,407 --> 00:30:10,909 I have my history class. 544 00:30:10,942 --> 00:30:12,911 Oh dear, I would do it myself, 545 00:30:12,944 --> 00:30:16,648 but I have an important meeting in ten minutes. 546 00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:19,250 Perhaps the Father can help us out? 547 00:30:19,284 --> 00:30:20,818 Sister, what an excellent idea. 548 00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:21,953 Oh, would you Father? 549 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,288 It's so important that we do not let their education 550 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:24,355 be interrupted. 551 00:30:24,389 --> 00:30:26,491 And who would be better qualified? 552 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:29,527 Yes, yes, it's the first room on the left. 553 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:31,796 Oh, thank you so much, Father. 554 00:30:32,864 --> 00:30:35,166 You are a saint. 555 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:40,038 So, Sister, the rumors are true. 556 00:30:40,071 --> 00:30:41,339 Which rumors? 557 00:30:41,372 --> 00:30:42,607 The ones about the Bishop wanting to 558 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,309 close down our school. 559 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,978 No. He has sent that young priest to check us out 560 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,047 and make a report. No! 561 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,316 Well, good thinking to get him into that classroom. 562 00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,618 That will give us some time to alert everyone. 563 00:30:53,651 --> 00:30:56,688 Right. Now we must immediately get on the telephone and tell 564 00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:15,406 Good morning, class. ALL: Good morning, Father. 565 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,941 Right. 566 00:31:16,975 --> 00:31:20,311 Sister Molano Voloce has taken a vow of silence this morning, 567 00:31:20,345 --> 00:31:22,513 so I'll be filling in for her today. 568 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:23,948 My name is Father Guus. 569 00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:33,157 That's Guus, not Goose. 570 00:31:33,191 --> 00:31:35,526 It's Dutch. 571 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,895 And this is what class? Anybody? 572 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,000 Uhh, theology. 573 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,169 Good thinking. 574 00:31:45,203 --> 00:31:48,106 Which brings the question, what is theology? 575 00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:54,012 What is theology? 576 00:32:00,518 --> 00:32:02,487 Who can tell me what this is? 577 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:05,657 A squiggle? 578 00:32:07,525 --> 00:32:09,360 I didn't call on you yet. 579 00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:14,499 Anybody? 580 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:17,268 Anybody? 581 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:24,342 A squiggle. Exactly. 582 00:32:24,375 --> 00:32:27,178 But who can tell me the theological ramifications 583 00:32:27,211 --> 00:32:28,746 of the squiggle? 584 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,549 Come on anybody. Let's net be bashful. 585 00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:36,087 How about you? 586 00:32:39,757 --> 00:32:41,826 He could come over there at any time, 587 00:32:41,859 --> 00:32:45,663 so I would like to have everything in tip-top shape. 588 00:32:45,697 --> 00:32:47,999 All right, Sisters. Good-bye. 589 00:32:50,435 --> 00:32:52,270 Sister Felicia. 590 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:56,240 Oh, hello, Mr. Murphy! 591 00:32:56,274 --> 00:32:57,575 Hello, Sister. 592 00:32:57,608 --> 00:32:58,876 I just wanted to check with you to see 593 00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:01,212 how our daughter Christy is doing? 594 00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:05,817 Well I am happy to report she is doing just fine. 595 00:33:05,850 --> 00:33:08,786 Her grades are good and she hasn't had 596 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:11,055 a single discipline problem. 597 00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:13,825 Excellent! Then it seems that sending her to your 598 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:15,860 school was the right thing to do. 599 00:33:15,893 --> 00:33:18,629 Well, it would seem so. 600 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,198 Well, thank you very much, Sister. 601 00:33:20,231 --> 00:33:22,033 Oh, and one other thing. 602 00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:23,935 You may be aware that I am on the board 603 00:33:23,968 --> 00:33:26,170 of the Gelt Gouger Foundation. 604 00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:28,473 I also know about the financial difficulties 605 00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:31,209 your school has been having. 606 00:33:31,242 --> 00:33:35,046 Yes, it's unfortunate, but true, sir. 607 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:37,348 Well, if you can keep up the good work, 608 00:33:37,382 --> 00:33:40,017 I'll see to it that the Academy of the Blessed Virgin 609 00:33:40,051 --> 00:33:42,453 receives a hefty little endowment. 610 00:33:42,487 --> 00:33:44,255 How does that sound? 611 00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:49,360 Oh! I think the Lord would approve of that, Mr. Murphy. 612 00:33:51,329 --> 00:33:55,366 Daddy Baba's Gomashio is the spice of life 613 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,435 order yours today by sending 614 00:33:57,468 --> 00:34:02,640 $9.95 to Howard at P.O. Box 615 00:34:02,673 --> 00:34:06,177 So, if you make a philological digression, 616 00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,447 you'll see that the tenants of Zoroastrianism 617 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,784 merely reconfirm the truism that we are after all 618 00:34:12,817 --> 00:34:15,720 merely adjuncts to the divinely ordained. 619 00:34:15,753 --> 00:34:17,922 Which brings us to the final answer. 620 00:34:17,955 --> 00:34:19,290 The final answer! 621 00:34:21,926 --> 00:34:23,761 Which is of course, 622 00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:28,800 sex. 623 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,005 Class dismissed. 624 00:34:35,072 --> 00:34:36,541 Wait! 625 00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:38,075 Okay, go. 626 00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:40,978 Stop! 627 00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:43,414 Okay, the rest of you go. 628 00:34:43,448 --> 00:34:45,416 You, young lady, you stay after class. 629 00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:53,558 Hey, babe. 630 00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,692 Jerry, get a life. 631 00:34:54,725 --> 00:34:56,027 Shh! 632 00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,395 What are you doing here? 633 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,464 Roosevelt has the day off. 634 00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:02,100 That wasn't my question. 635 00:35:02,133 --> 00:35:04,535 I miss you. I had to come see you. 636 00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:07,104 If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in this place. 637 00:35:07,138 --> 00:35:09,140 You're not going to blame me for that are you? 638 00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:10,541 Yes, I am. 639 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:13,811 Look, I'll admit, 640 00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:15,813 you've had a little bit of bad luck with me, 641 00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:18,483 but I'm turning over a new leaf, honest. 642 00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:19,851 Right. 643 00:35:19,884 --> 00:35:22,453 From now on I'm straight as an altar boy. 644 00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:25,857 And is this what the altar boys are wearing now? 645 00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:27,391 Look, it was the only way I could get in to see you. 646 00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:28,826 All right? 647 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:32,029 This is absolutely the last gimmick I swear. 648 00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:34,499 I know you've missed me. 649 00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:36,601 And hey, I've got some friends for your friends. 650 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:38,369 Father! I thought you might 651 00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:39,804 What's going on? 652 00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:42,874 Uh, I was just disciplining this young lady. 653 00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,709 Oh, what did she do? 654 00:35:45,142 --> 00:35:46,544 She was 655 00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:50,448 Making rude bodily noises. 656 00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:51,582 Christy! 657 00:35:51,616 --> 00:35:52,717 I was not! 658 00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,852 Well I should hope not! 659 00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:58,723 Father, I thought you might like a little 660 00:35:58,756 --> 00:36:00,892 guided tour around the school. 661 00:36:00,925 --> 00:36:02,527 Oh, that would be lovely, 662 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,562 but could you just wait for me outside? 663 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:06,531 Well, of course, Father. 664 00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:12,136 Duh, Jer. 665 00:36:12,169 --> 00:36:13,371 Why'd you say that? 666 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:14,839 It just popped into my head. 667 00:36:14,872 --> 00:36:16,908 I ought to pop you in the head! 668 00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:19,410 I couldn't think of what to say. 669 00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:21,913 I stay out of trouble for five weeks! 670 00:36:21,946 --> 00:36:23,581 I talk to you for two minutes 671 00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:25,483 and I'm back on a shitlist again. 672 00:36:25,516 --> 00:36:27,051 Why don't you just stay out of my life? 673 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:30,888 Christy! 674 00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:33,090 How dare you hit a priest! 675 00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:35,426 It's okay, Sister, she was just 676 00:36:37,194 --> 00:36:38,262 What were you just? 677 00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:41,132 It most certainly is not okay! 678 00:36:41,165 --> 00:36:44,535 Young lady, I am very, very disappointed with you. 679 00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:48,272 You think you're sorry now, you bet you'll be sorry! 680 00:36:48,306 --> 00:36:51,509 From now on, except for class and Church 681 00:36:51,542 --> 00:36:54,011 you will not leave your dorm until further notice. 682 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,147 Do I make myself clear? 683 00:36:56,180 --> 00:36:57,415 Yes, Sister. 684 00:36:57,448 --> 00:36:58,783 Now scoot. 685 00:37:04,088 --> 00:37:05,790 Boy today's youth, huh? 686 00:37:05,823 --> 00:37:07,892 I can't understand it, Father. 687 00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:10,261 She's been such a good girl. 688 00:37:10,294 --> 00:37:13,364 Must be that time of the month. 689 00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:19,637 Well, anyway, I thought this might be a good time 690 00:37:19,670 --> 00:37:22,073 for you to hear confessions. 691 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,475 Confessions? 692 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,861 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 693 00:37:43,894 --> 00:37:46,330 My last confession was a week ago. 694 00:37:46,864 --> 00:37:48,799 My sins are 695 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:52,403 I coveted my neighbor's dessert in lunch hall, 696 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:55,673 I almost said a bad word when I stubbed my toe. 697 00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:58,476 Oh, and I had an impure thought. 698 00:37:58,509 --> 00:38:01,646 Oh, really? What kind of impure thought? 699 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,681 I 700 00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:07,618 I imagined I was kissing Donny Osmond. 701 00:38:08,185 --> 00:38:09,654 That's it? 702 00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:11,255 Yes, Father. 703 00:38:11,288 --> 00:38:13,057 Don't let it happen again. 704 00:38:13,491 --> 00:38:15,226 Yes, Father. 705 00:38:16,894 --> 00:38:19,330 Are you going to give me a penance? 706 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:23,567 What do you think you deserve? 707 00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:27,505 I don't know. 708 00:38:27,538 --> 00:38:29,774 Ten Hail Mary's and The Lord's Prayer? 709 00:38:31,042 --> 00:38:32,410 I can deal with that, but 710 00:38:32,443 --> 00:38:34,412 go ahead and tack on 20 push-ups. 711 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:48,893 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 712 00:38:48,926 --> 00:38:51,662 It's been a week since my last confession. 713 00:38:51,696 --> 00:38:53,130 Let's see 714 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,900 I slugged a girl, but she asked for it. 715 00:38:56,634 --> 00:38:59,670 And I cheated on a test. 716 00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:02,506 But that's only if you call it cheating when the girl next 717 00:39:02,540 --> 00:39:04,775 to you practically begs you to look at her answer sheet 718 00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,944 by not covering it up. 719 00:39:06,977 --> 00:39:10,114 And I told a few fibs here and there, 720 00:39:10,147 --> 00:39:12,683 but I'm sure it didn't hurt anybody. 721 00:39:13,350 --> 00:39:15,086 Any impure thoughts? 722 00:39:15,119 --> 00:39:18,723 Well, sure, yeah some of those. 723 00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:20,558 Tell me about them. 724 00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:22,259 Well 725 00:39:22,293 --> 00:39:26,330 In math class I imagined I was sunbathing 726 00:39:26,363 --> 00:39:28,666 on a deserted island 727 00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:30,301 in my bikini 728 00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:32,136 Yes. 729 00:39:32,169 --> 00:39:34,538 And it just got so hot 730 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:36,674 I had to take off my top. 731 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:39,443 Really? 732 00:39:39,477 --> 00:39:43,414 And my nipples, they stood firm and erect 733 00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:45,750 as the foamy waves washed over my body. 734 00:39:46,817 --> 00:39:48,252 Yes? 735 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,424 And I felt this, this tingling sensation 736 00:39:53,457 --> 00:39:55,659 on my taut supple thighs. 737 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:59,029 And I suddenly realized 738 00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:02,767 I was madly, madly aroused. 739 00:40:06,137 --> 00:40:07,905 Is this a sin? 740 00:40:07,938 --> 00:40:09,306 I hope so. 741 00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:10,408 What? 742 00:40:10,441 --> 00:40:11,742 God only knows. 743 00:40:13,677 --> 00:40:14,712 Continue. 744 00:40:14,745 --> 00:40:16,580 You know, I thought I'd go with it. 745 00:40:16,614 --> 00:40:20,217 I grabbed the soil and I just rubbed it everywhere, 746 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,119 just everywhere, all over my body. 747 00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:25,289 Because it was so hot, oh, Father, Father it was hot! 748 00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:30,861 It was hot. 749 00:40:31,195 --> 00:40:32,430 Ooh 750 00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:33,731 Mmm 751 00:40:41,539 --> 00:40:43,207 They caught him. 752 00:40:46,477 --> 00:40:48,446 They tied him up with rosary beads 753 00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:50,614 and dumped him in a vat of boiling holy water. 754 00:40:50,648 --> 00:40:53,184 Would you relax, Theo, he'll be fine. 755 00:41:03,928 --> 00:41:05,896 How did you like our chapel, Father? 756 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:07,832 Very, very, very much. 757 00:41:07,865 --> 00:41:09,466 Good, good. 758 00:41:10,501 --> 00:41:13,737 You know you certainly did take a lot of time 759 00:41:13,771 --> 00:41:15,039 with that one girl. 760 00:41:15,072 --> 00:41:16,674 Well I like to be very thorough. 761 00:41:16,707 --> 00:41:19,243 I think of confession as a sort of 762 00:41:20,211 --> 00:41:21,812 A spiritual enema. 763 00:41:25,082 --> 00:41:26,383 Oh. 764 00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:38,996 Sister Felicia, I meant to speak with you 765 00:41:39,029 --> 00:41:40,998 about that Christy 766 00:41:41,031 --> 00:41:42,066 Murphy. 767 00:41:42,099 --> 00:41:44,168 Oh, yes, Father, what a shame. 768 00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:46,070 I don't know how to explain it. 769 00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:48,239 Actually, I think it all might have been just a little 770 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:49,874 bit of a misunderstanding. 771 00:41:49,907 --> 00:41:52,877 See she said she wanted to make a confession with me. 772 00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,714 And I said, Do you want to make it with me right now? 773 00:41:56,747 --> 00:41:59,683 I think she misinterpreted. 774 00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:04,088 Well, well she still shouldn't have hit you, Father. 775 00:42:04,121 --> 00:42:05,522 Maybe we could just make her punishment 776 00:42:05,556 --> 00:42:06,757 a little less severe. 777 00:42:07,725 --> 00:42:09,894 Well, we'll see. 778 00:42:09,927 --> 00:42:13,464 Oh, I better get that. Excuse me, Father. 779 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,436 Hello, Father! 780 00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:32,016 Sister Felicia. 781 00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:34,518 Sister Felicia, this is Bishop Haughness. 782 00:42:34,551 --> 00:42:36,754 Oh, hello, Bishop Haughness! 783 00:42:36,787 --> 00:42:39,657 Hello Sister. How are things at the Academy? 784 00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:42,693 Oh, just fine your Excellency, couldn't be better. 785 00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:44,528 Oh, and I want you know, 786 00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:47,231 Father Guus has been having a wonderful visit. 787 00:42:50,968 --> 00:42:52,736 Father Guus? 788 00:42:52,770 --> 00:42:55,506 After lunch were going to show him the petunia beds. 789 00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:58,475 Sister, have you been feeling all right? 790 00:42:58,509 --> 00:43:01,245 Well, yes, of course. Why do you ask? 791 00:43:01,278 --> 00:43:04,515 Never mind. Sister, I'm afraid we have some 792 00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:06,317 serious business to discuss. 793 00:43:06,350 --> 00:43:10,821 Yes, I know, we've heard the rumors, sir. 794 00:43:10,854 --> 00:43:14,992 The school has become a drain on the Church's resources. 795 00:43:15,025 --> 00:43:16,260 If it can't be turned around 796 00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:19,163 Actually, the good news is that our troubles 797 00:43:19,196 --> 00:43:20,864 may be over soon. 798 00:43:20,898 --> 00:43:23,801 I think we'll be getting an endowment from 799 00:43:23,834 --> 00:43:26,070 the Gelt Gouger Foundation! 800 00:43:27,671 --> 00:43:29,239 Oh, really? 801 00:43:30,407 --> 00:43:33,277 Yes, and if you could bear with us until the 802 00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:37,247 end of the semester, I think things will work out. 803 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:40,684 Well, I suppose we could hold off that long. 804 00:43:40,718 --> 00:43:43,320 Oh, thank you, your Excellency! 805 00:43:43,354 --> 00:43:45,456 You won't regret it! 806 00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:48,859 And I know you'll be happy with Father Guus's report. 807 00:43:48,892 --> 00:43:51,895 Who is this Father Guus business? 808 00:43:51,929 --> 00:43:55,299 Well, you know, the priest you sent to look us over. 809 00:43:55,332 --> 00:43:57,701 I didn't send any Father Guus. 810 00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,972 You didn't? 811 00:44:02,006 --> 00:44:04,008 Well, all right your Excellency. 812 00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:05,976 Thank you for calling. 813 00:44:06,010 --> 00:44:07,344 Goodbye. 814 00:44:10,247 --> 00:44:11,281 Guus? 815 00:44:16,086 --> 00:44:20,624 Hmm Murphy, Christy. 217. 816 00:44:27,431 --> 00:44:28,732 Where, where is he? 817 00:44:28,766 --> 00:44:30,934 Wait till I get my hands on him. 818 00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:35,205 Father Guus indeed. I'll Father Guus him. 819 00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,776 My goodness if I ever see him. 820 00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:40,377 I'll goose his goose. 821 00:44:44,014 --> 00:44:46,283 Sisters and virgins be on the lookout for 822 00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:49,153 an imposter priest who has infiltrated the Academy 823 00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:51,355 under the guise of Father Guus. 824 00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:54,058 He should be considered armed and dangerous. 825 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,696 Oh my God, he escaped! Well, how'd you do? 826 00:44:59,730 --> 00:45:01,098 All right! 827 00:45:01,131 --> 00:45:02,366 Put on your party hats boys 828 00:45:02,399 --> 00:45:05,002 we're coming back here tomorrow night. 829 00:45:18,949 --> 00:45:21,518 Four, five, six, free parking! 830 00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:23,387 Ahh! You bitch! 831 00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:50,013 If my calculations are correct and I do believe they are, 832 00:45:50,047 --> 00:45:53,050 Christy's dorm room is 200 yards due southwest. 833 00:45:53,083 --> 00:45:54,351 Which is right over that wall. 834 00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:55,519 Hot damn! 835 00:45:55,552 --> 00:45:57,654 No way, Kaminski. There is no way I'm going to 836 00:45:57,688 --> 00:46:00,457 be a party to this. 837 00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:01,525 Shit! 838 00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:06,196 Community chest, $200. 839 00:46:12,736 --> 00:46:14,638 I really appreciate you guys staying in with me 840 00:46:14,671 --> 00:46:15,772 tonight while I'm grounded. 841 00:46:15,806 --> 00:46:18,008 No problem, it's the least we could do. 842 00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:20,811 Yeah, and besides, it's not like we have 40 guys 843 00:46:20,844 --> 00:46:22,246 calling us for dates tonight. 844 00:46:22,279 --> 00:46:23,647 Yeah. 845 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:24,915 You know what would really be neat? 846 00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:26,150 What? 847 00:46:26,183 --> 00:46:28,519 If three Greek gods came flying through that window 848 00:46:28,552 --> 00:46:31,588 right this minute and swept us up in their powerful 849 00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:34,291 arms and carried us off to Mt. Olympus. 850 00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,361 Yeah, three Greek gods. 851 00:46:38,395 --> 00:46:40,330 Attention virgins. 852 00:46:40,364 --> 00:46:42,766 Do not miss the movie tonight, 853 00:46:42,799 --> 00:46:46,370 The Bells of St. Mary, starring Bing Crosby. 854 00:46:50,073 --> 00:46:54,111 Okay Murphy, it's Friday night, time to pay the piper. 855 00:46:54,144 --> 00:46:57,047 Come on Kathleen, give her a break. 856 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,517 When I want to hear from you, Bings, I'll send a fax. 857 00:47:00,551 --> 00:47:02,286 Twenty-five bucks! 858 00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,424 Well, I don't think you understand what the 859 00:47:07,457 --> 00:47:10,127 Poor Pagan Children's Fund is! 860 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,796 It is not an optional thing! 861 00:47:12,829 --> 00:47:16,200 Everybody contributes to the Poor Pagan Children's Fund. 862 00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:19,670 What's the Poor Pagan Children's Fund? 863 00:47:19,703 --> 00:47:21,471 Good evening, Sister. 864 00:47:23,407 --> 00:47:27,678 Um, the Poor Pagan Children's Fund It 865 00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:28,979 I may as well tell you. 866 00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:31,081 See we've all been contributing to this fund 867 00:47:31,114 --> 00:47:32,950 and at the end of the semester we were going 868 00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:34,151 to give it all to you. 869 00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:36,553 It was supposed to be a surprise, but, well 870 00:47:36,587 --> 00:47:38,255 I guess you found us out. 871 00:47:38,288 --> 00:47:41,091 I'll be darned. Whose idea was this? 872 00:47:43,093 --> 00:47:44,628 Well I can't take all the credit. 873 00:47:44,661 --> 00:47:46,630 I couldn't have done it without the girls. 874 00:47:46,663 --> 00:47:49,733 And Kathleen's been keeping the money. She has over $300. 875 00:47:49,766 --> 00:47:51,201 No kidding! 876 00:47:51,235 --> 00:47:54,404 Well I must say, I didn't think you kids had it in you. 877 00:47:54,438 --> 00:47:56,273 Nice work men. 878 00:47:56,306 --> 00:47:57,574 Anyway, as you know 879 00:47:57,608 --> 00:48:00,077 we've got our big formal in a couple weeks. 880 00:48:00,110 --> 00:48:03,580 Traditionally, we hold a car wash to pay for the expenses. 881 00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:05,816 I need someone to take charge 882 00:48:05,849 --> 00:48:08,151 and I need volunteers for washing. 883 00:48:08,185 --> 00:48:11,521 Oh, I would be delighted to advance the interests 884 00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:15,692 of the school by organizing and supervising the cleansing 885 00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:18,061 of the automobiles, Sister. 886 00:48:18,095 --> 00:48:20,163 Great! You'd be perfect. 887 00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:22,733 We'll shoot for next Saturday. 888 00:48:22,766 --> 00:48:25,636 Now come on, Kathleen, let's go get that money. 889 00:48:26,103 --> 00:48:27,638 Yes, Sister. 890 00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:39,416 I don't believe this! 891 00:48:40,984 --> 00:48:43,987 Jerry, are you out of your gourd? 892 00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:46,990 Nice digs you got here. 893 00:48:47,024 --> 00:48:48,792 Get out of here! 894 00:48:48,825 --> 00:48:50,227 Oh! He's coming in! 895 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:51,995 Be quiet, this could be interesting. 896 00:48:52,029 --> 00:48:54,197 Beautiful night for a party, isn't it? 897 00:48:54,231 --> 00:48:56,600 Don't you think you've already gotten me in enough trouble? 898 00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:58,902 I talked to the nun, you're off the hook. 899 00:48:58,935 --> 00:49:00,237 Who's he? 900 00:49:00,270 --> 00:49:01,405 Evening ladies. 901 00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,340 There are no boys allowed in this dorm! 902 00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,876 That's okay, we're not boys, we're men. 903 00:49:05,909 --> 00:49:08,478 Please Jerry, someone's going to come up here for sure. 904 00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:10,147 Door's locked, isn't it? 905 00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:12,149 You don't look like a Greek god to me. 906 00:49:12,182 --> 00:49:13,850 Greek god? I missed one workout. 907 00:49:13,884 --> 00:49:15,052 Give me a break, okay? 908 00:49:15,085 --> 00:49:16,653 I don't believe this. 909 00:49:16,687 --> 00:49:18,922 We just broke into a girls' dorm room. 910 00:49:18,955 --> 00:49:20,757 Hi! I'm Melanie. 911 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:22,192 Uh, Theo. 912 00:49:22,225 --> 00:49:24,795 Jerry, if you don't get out of here, I'm calling the guard. 913 00:49:24,828 --> 00:49:26,096 Come on Christy, 30 minutes 914 00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:27,664 and we are out of here. 915 00:49:27,698 --> 00:49:30,467 Word of honor, I absolutely swear, 916 00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:32,736 you will not get into trouble. 917 00:49:32,769 --> 00:49:34,037 Are you a pre-vert? 918 00:49:34,071 --> 00:49:35,372 Oh, never on the first date. 919 00:49:35,405 --> 00:49:37,641 Hey, would you guys mind keeping your voices down? 920 00:49:37,674 --> 00:49:39,076 Are you always this nervous? 921 00:49:39,109 --> 00:49:40,944 You guys, we could play some strip Monopoly. 922 00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:44,981 Or regular. 923 00:49:45,015 --> 00:49:48,552 I would like to propose a toast to Virgin High, 924 00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:52,656 to moonlit nights, champagne and viva la difference , 925 00:49:52,689 --> 00:49:55,792 the tour du force , c'est la vie and soup du jour, 926 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,795 la toure d'Eiffel and whatever the hell else we can think of. 927 00:49:58,829 --> 00:49:59,930 Hasta bazoolo. 928 00:49:59,963 --> 00:50:01,131 Here, here! 929 00:50:08,004 --> 00:50:10,307 Nothing is wrong baby, this is right. 930 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,541 That's why I break a cold sweat 931 00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:13,076 in the middle of the night. 932 00:50:13,110 --> 00:50:15,078 Chilled to the bone, yeah, through and through. 933 00:50:15,112 --> 00:50:17,981 All I want to do is drive all night with you. 934 00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:19,516 Oh, thank you very much. 935 00:50:20,650 --> 00:50:22,452 Thank you. You're too kind. 936 00:50:24,087 --> 00:50:25,522 You're beautiful. Thank you very much. 937 00:50:25,555 --> 00:50:27,891 ♪ When you were young and pretty 938 00:50:28,825 --> 00:50:31,495 ♪ And I was young and dumb 939 00:50:32,496 --> 00:50:34,865 ♪ I used to take you dancing 940 00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:37,868 ♪ And act like it was fun 941 00:50:39,202 --> 00:50:41,838 ♪ You said you liked my music 942 00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:44,674 ♪ You said it was cute 943 00:50:46,176 --> 00:50:47,911 ♪ Couldn't make you happy 944 00:50:49,212 --> 00:50:51,982 ♪ Didn't bring in the loot 945 00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,519 ♪ Those days are gone 946 00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:58,388 ♪ Those days are gone 947 00:50:59,623 --> 00:51:03,427 ♪ I got a new girl and she feels all right 948 00:51:03,460 --> 00:51:06,897 ♪ Got a new car gonna drive all night 949 00:51:06,930 --> 00:51:10,100 ♪ Feels pretty good, this life at the top 950 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,644 ♪ I thought my life was over 951 00:51:20,677 --> 00:51:22,679 ♪ When you left me 952 00:51:22,712 --> 00:51:26,450 Well troops we've got $258. 953 00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:29,653 With a little less loafing we could have done better. 954 00:51:29,686 --> 00:51:31,655 Why don't you lighten up, Kathleen? 955 00:51:33,990 --> 00:51:37,894 You may have squandered my money, Murphy, 956 00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:41,398 but I can still crush you like a grape. 957 00:51:42,732 --> 00:51:45,135 Okay, let's get this place cleaned up. 958 00:51:45,168 --> 00:51:47,037 Hut, two, three, four. 959 00:51:49,339 --> 00:51:50,907 Hey, girls how 'bout a wash? 960 00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,008 Sorry, we're closed. 961 00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:53,410 It's alright we'll do this one. 962 00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:55,178 Hi sailors, what'll it be? 963 00:51:55,212 --> 00:51:57,814 Give us an around the world with all the trimmings. 964 00:51:57,848 --> 00:51:59,950 Okay girls, give 'em the hose. 965 00:51:59,983 --> 00:52:01,151 Hey that sounds great. 966 00:52:03,753 --> 00:52:06,490 So, Virgin High isn't bad after all, eh? 967 00:52:06,523 --> 00:52:08,358 Well, it ain't Greenland, I'll give it that. 968 00:52:08,391 --> 00:52:11,161 Me thinks thou dost protest too much. 969 00:52:11,194 --> 00:52:12,863 You thinkest that, dost you? 970 00:52:12,896 --> 00:52:15,599 Yep, me also thinks, thou hast a whole new attitude 971 00:52:15,632 --> 00:52:17,334 towards old Jerry these days. 972 00:52:18,468 --> 00:52:20,003 Hey! 973 00:52:21,338 --> 00:52:22,873 Water fight! 974 00:52:33,283 --> 00:52:35,819 No you don't! No water fights. 975 00:52:35,852 --> 00:52:37,487 Do you hear me? 976 00:52:37,521 --> 00:52:40,156 No water fights! Stop this immediately! 977 00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:46,563 Okay fine, act like children, but the first person that gets 978 00:52:46,596 --> 00:52:48,932 a single drop of water on me 979 00:52:58,208 --> 00:53:00,377 Murphy! 980 00:53:00,410 --> 00:53:02,045 I didn't do it. 981 00:53:02,078 --> 00:53:05,482 Don't lie to me you little bitch! 982 00:53:09,586 --> 00:53:11,955 That does it, Murphy. 983 00:53:11,988 --> 00:53:14,691 You're a ghost at this school. 984 00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:22,365 You're not going to blame me for that, are you? 985 00:53:31,741 --> 00:53:33,977 Academy of the Blessed Virgin. 986 00:53:35,712 --> 00:53:37,380 Just a sec. 987 00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:39,983 Murphy! 988 00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,124 Hello, Christy! 989 00:53:48,158 --> 00:53:49,392 Oh, hi, Dad! 990 00:53:49,426 --> 00:53:51,461 Who was that nice young lady who answered the phone? 991 00:53:51,494 --> 00:53:52,596 That's Kathleen. 992 00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:55,332 I told you you'd make nice friends. 993 00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:57,667 Friends for life. 994 00:53:57,701 --> 00:53:59,369 So, uh, are you looking forward 995 00:53:59,402 --> 00:54:01,438 to the big formal next week? 996 00:54:01,471 --> 00:54:03,873 Actually, I wasn't even planning on going. 997 00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:06,476 Not going? Of course you're going. 998 00:54:06,509 --> 00:54:08,211 You don't want to miss the big social event 999 00:54:08,244 --> 00:54:09,446 of the year, do you? 1000 00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:12,215 I don't feel like it. Besides I don't even have a date. 1001 00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:13,450 What do you mean? 1002 00:54:13,483 --> 00:54:15,051 Sure you have a date. 1003 00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,820 I do? 1004 00:54:16,853 --> 00:54:19,289 I knew you wouldn't be having much contact with boys this 1005 00:54:19,322 --> 00:54:22,192 semester, so I invited Leonard Klappner 1006 00:54:22,225 --> 00:54:23,593 to escort you. 1007 00:54:23,627 --> 00:54:26,830 Leonard Klappner, duh, Dad, I don't think so. 1008 00:54:26,863 --> 00:54:31,501 A fine young man: smart, intelligent, well-mannered 1009 00:54:31,534 --> 00:54:34,838 and need I add, heir to his father's fertilizer empire. 1010 00:54:34,871 --> 00:54:35,972 Dad, I don't think 1011 00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:39,643 Actually, your mother and I might stop by ourselves. 1012 00:54:39,676 --> 00:54:42,612 Uh, I've already discussed it with Sister Felicia and 1013 00:54:42,646 --> 00:54:44,314 she's more than happy to have us. 1014 00:54:44,347 --> 00:54:45,849 Dad, I wasn't even planning 1015 00:54:45,882 --> 00:54:47,517 So, we'll see you at the formal 1016 00:54:47,550 --> 00:54:48,752 and keep up the good work. 1017 00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:50,120 Bye, honey. 1018 00:54:54,224 --> 00:54:56,526 You've been a bad boy! 1019 00:54:56,559 --> 00:54:57,727 Haven't you? 1020 00:54:58,261 --> 00:54:59,462 No, Mommy, no! 1021 00:55:01,431 --> 00:55:03,066 No. 1022 00:56:03,626 --> 00:56:05,862 Oh, God! 1023 00:56:05,895 --> 00:56:10,433 That was the most awesome experience I have 1024 00:56:10,467 --> 00:56:14,471 ever had without the use of a controlled substance. 1025 00:56:14,504 --> 00:56:17,741 Was it as good for you as it was for me, Kathleen? 1026 00:56:18,508 --> 00:56:19,909 I've got it! 1027 00:56:20,744 --> 00:56:22,145 What? 1028 00:56:22,178 --> 00:56:24,380 I should have thought of it earlier, 1029 00:56:24,414 --> 00:56:26,783 but I have definitely got it. 1030 00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:30,487 You told me those tests came back negative! 1031 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:34,290 Not that sweet vacuum skull. 1032 00:56:34,324 --> 00:56:37,127 I figured out a way we can get Murphy. 1033 00:56:37,794 --> 00:56:40,130 We? 1034 00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:44,401 Now you told me you were an expert with explosives, right? 1035 00:56:44,434 --> 00:56:46,836 Not exactly. I told you that once in high school 1036 00:56:46,870 --> 00:56:48,705 I cherry bombed the girls' john. 1037 00:56:48,738 --> 00:56:49,973 Well, whatever. 1038 00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:53,877 I figure we take your expertise 1039 00:56:53,910 --> 00:56:55,979 and combine it with my expertise in painting. 1040 00:56:57,380 --> 00:57:00,216 And with a little help from the Happy Whip company 1041 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:04,254 we'll give young Miss Murphy a send-off to remember. 1042 00:57:05,388 --> 00:57:06,523 What are you scheming? 1043 00:57:06,556 --> 00:57:09,259 I don't like the sound of this at all. 1044 00:57:09,292 --> 00:57:11,194 Derek, honey, 1045 00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:16,199 have you ever made love in a Jacuzzi full of Jell-O 1046 00:57:16,232 --> 00:57:19,169 with a full set of leather accessories 1047 00:57:19,202 --> 00:57:23,506 and the Brandenburg Concerto playing at high volume? 1048 00:57:24,741 --> 00:57:25,909 No. 1049 00:57:25,942 --> 00:57:27,610 Do you think you'd like to? 1050 00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:28,878 Yes. 1051 00:57:29,612 --> 00:57:31,714 But not at any price. 1052 00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,683 I do have principles you know. 1053 00:57:33,716 --> 00:57:35,351 Yes, the same principles 1054 00:57:35,385 --> 00:57:38,421 the nuns will respect and admire you for, 1055 00:57:39,789 --> 00:57:43,560 if they ever find out, God forbid, that you've been 1056 00:57:43,593 --> 00:57:48,965 porking one of their sweet innocent little angels. 1057 00:57:48,998 --> 00:57:51,234 What do I do and when do we start. 1058 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,597 So you studs ready for the big night? 1059 00:58:20,630 --> 00:58:23,566 Hell yeah, Jer. I even bought some pope-a-lactics. 1060 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,469 I can't believe you tried every one of them on. 1061 00:58:26,502 --> 00:58:28,137 They're one size fits all. 1062 00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:29,572 Sounded fishy to me. 1063 00:58:29,606 --> 00:58:32,909 So, Jer, I can't believe you're not going to this party. 1064 00:58:34,110 --> 00:58:35,178 As much as it hurts, 1065 00:58:35,211 --> 00:58:38,548 sometimes you just have to face the truth. 1066 00:58:38,581 --> 00:58:40,450 I just wasn't invited. 1067 00:58:41,551 --> 00:58:43,353 Heavy. 1068 00:58:43,386 --> 00:58:45,188 Anyway, Jer, got any pointers on helping me 1069 00:58:45,221 --> 00:58:46,656 get this girl to give out? 1070 00:58:47,390 --> 00:58:48,458 Give out? 1071 00:58:48,491 --> 00:58:50,660 You know, shut up or put down! 1072 00:58:53,096 --> 00:58:54,464 Hide the baloney, okay? 1073 00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:57,634 Now, Zoom, babe, 1074 00:58:57,667 --> 00:58:59,435 you have to understand that women have a completely 1075 00:58:59,469 --> 00:59:01,638 different perspective on things than say, 1076 00:59:01,671 --> 00:59:05,675 you, me, or even Theo over here. 1077 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,278 So what you gotta do is be prepared. 1078 00:59:08,311 --> 00:59:11,381 Now you already bought the raincoats and that's good. 1079 00:59:11,414 --> 00:59:12,649 But if it goes that far, 1080 00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:14,550 be shocked to find them in your wallet. 1081 00:59:14,584 --> 00:59:17,153 Like, say maybe I must have planted it there. 1082 00:59:17,186 --> 00:59:20,089 Never let the chick know that the whole thing 1083 00:59:20,123 --> 00:59:21,291 was premeditated. 1084 00:59:21,324 --> 00:59:24,093 Oh yeah, right, take it from Dr. Pocket Pool over there. 1085 00:59:24,727 --> 00:59:26,496 Contrary to Theo's belief, 1086 00:59:26,529 --> 00:59:28,865 the five knuckle shuffle does not grow hair on your palms. 1087 00:59:31,834 --> 00:59:34,938 Listen, women love to talk. 1088 00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:36,572 So talk to her. 1089 00:59:36,606 --> 00:59:40,376 Use big words, talk about the environment, Jane Fonda. 1090 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,045 Bullshit like that. 1091 00:59:42,078 --> 00:59:46,182 And if all else fails, go for the cones. 1092 00:59:46,215 --> 00:59:47,884 At least you'll go down fighting. 1093 01:00:00,697 --> 01:00:02,899 Come on Christy, you should be excited like we are. 1094 01:00:02,932 --> 01:00:03,967 It's going to be fun. 1095 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,368 That's easy for you to say. 1096 01:00:05,401 --> 01:00:07,103 You're not going with Leonard Klappner. 1097 01:00:07,136 --> 01:00:09,205 He can't be that bad, can he? 1098 01:00:11,341 --> 01:00:13,576 Okay. But at least you can have fun. 1099 01:00:13,609 --> 01:00:15,545 There's going to be dancing and food. 1100 01:00:15,578 --> 01:00:17,680 You can't keep moping about Jerry forever. 1101 01:00:17,714 --> 01:00:19,215 I'm not really moping. 1102 01:00:19,248 --> 01:00:22,018 I'm just wondering if maybe I was a too hard on him. 1103 01:00:22,051 --> 01:00:24,053 I mean the water fight really wasn't his fault. 1104 01:00:24,087 --> 01:00:25,254 Zoomer started it. 1105 01:00:25,288 --> 01:00:26,456 I know. 1106 01:00:26,489 --> 01:00:28,124 You think maybe I should give him another chance? 1107 01:00:28,157 --> 01:00:30,326 I don't know. 1108 01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,562 But this is not the time to think about it. 1109 01:00:32,595 --> 01:00:34,897 Now, are you going to get over here and be 1110 01:00:34,931 --> 01:00:35,932 frivolous with us or not? 1111 01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:38,301 Sure. 1112 01:00:41,537 --> 01:00:43,473 You keep barging in here like that and we're gonna 1113 01:00:43,506 --> 01:00:45,174 have to start locking the door. 1114 01:00:45,208 --> 01:00:47,377 I'm sorry. 1115 01:00:47,410 --> 01:00:48,811 Actually, I came here because 1116 01:00:48,845 --> 01:00:51,447 I have something to say to Christy. 1117 01:00:55,151 --> 01:00:57,520 Christy, I'm sorry. 1118 01:00:58,755 --> 01:01:00,056 Excuse me? 1119 01:01:00,089 --> 01:01:02,792 I just feel like such a jackass. 1120 01:01:02,825 --> 01:01:04,494 I've been thinking about it all week 1121 01:01:04,527 --> 01:01:07,263 and I just feel like dirt for the things I've said to you. 1122 01:01:08,664 --> 01:01:10,033 Did the nuns send you over here? 1123 01:01:10,066 --> 01:01:11,634 No! 1124 01:01:11,667 --> 01:01:15,405 I just realized why I've been so mean to you. 1125 01:01:15,805 --> 01:01:17,140 Why? 1126 01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:19,342 Because I was jealous of you, 1127 01:01:19,375 --> 01:01:20,777 all of you! 1128 01:01:20,810 --> 01:01:22,979 I mean you're all such great friends 1129 01:01:23,012 --> 01:01:25,248 and I never had that. 1130 01:01:25,281 --> 01:01:28,518 I mean, and then I realized 1131 01:01:28,551 --> 01:01:31,187 that the reason I don't have any friends 1132 01:01:31,220 --> 01:01:34,390 is because I am such a bitch! 1133 01:01:34,424 --> 01:01:36,526 Can you imagine that? 1134 01:01:36,559 --> 01:01:39,529 So I decided from this day forward, 1135 01:01:39,562 --> 01:01:41,497 I'm cleaning up my act. 1136 01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:44,801 No more threats, no more nastiness, 1137 01:01:44,834 --> 01:01:47,003 just goodness and light 1138 01:01:47,036 --> 01:01:49,138 and goodwill toward all. 1139 01:01:49,172 --> 01:01:51,107 What do you say? 1140 01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:53,309 Great! 1141 01:01:54,310 --> 01:01:56,412 Attention, Christy, 1142 01:01:56,446 --> 01:01:57,847 do not be fooled, 1143 01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:00,249 she is a lying bitch 1144 01:02:00,283 --> 01:02:02,618 and cannot be trusted. 1145 01:02:03,219 --> 01:02:04,587 That is all. 1146 01:02:05,822 --> 01:02:07,090 Well, I was thinking. 1147 01:02:07,123 --> 01:02:10,259 We should take up a collection and buy a gift for the school. 1148 01:02:11,194 --> 01:02:12,995 Oh, the other day 1149 01:02:13,029 --> 01:02:16,432 I saw this painting of the Blessed Virgin 1150 01:02:16,466 --> 01:02:19,669 that would be just perfect. 1151 01:02:19,702 --> 01:02:22,271 And then we write a little inscription on the bottom. 1152 01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:25,341 And then somebody gives a, a speech at the formal. 1153 01:02:25,374 --> 01:02:26,976 I don't know 1154 01:02:28,277 --> 01:02:30,179 You, Christy! 1155 01:02:30,213 --> 01:02:33,015 And then we'll have the grand unveiling! 1156 01:02:33,649 --> 01:02:34,951 How does that sound? 1157 01:02:36,486 --> 01:02:38,921 Sure, we can go with that. 1158 01:02:38,955 --> 01:02:42,458 Great! Oh this is just going to be super. 1159 01:02:42,492 --> 01:02:45,061 Just like the four Musketettes! 1160 01:02:54,403 --> 01:02:55,471 Hey, hey Jose. 1161 01:02:55,505 --> 01:02:57,006 Zoomer. It's a formal. 1162 01:02:57,039 --> 01:02:59,008 You're supposed to rent a tux. 1163 01:02:59,041 --> 01:03:01,310 Hey I haven't got that kind of cash-ola. 1164 01:03:01,344 --> 01:03:04,180 Besides, I wanted to do the casual thing. 1165 01:03:04,213 --> 01:03:05,414 Damn! I don't believe 1166 01:03:05,448 --> 01:03:07,350 I forgot to order Melanie a corsage. 1167 01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:09,051 What? 1168 01:03:09,085 --> 01:03:11,521 There was only one left and some prom clown 1169 01:03:11,554 --> 01:03:13,289 snaked it before I could. 1170 01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:16,259 Oh, totally uncool. 1171 01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:19,162 You don't want your babe to think you're some kind of wimp, do ya? 1172 01:03:19,195 --> 01:03:21,664 I was going to spend $10 on that too. 1173 01:03:22,732 --> 01:03:25,034 Well, maybe, but I didn't bring one. 1174 01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:27,570 My babe would have slapped me. 1175 01:03:27,603 --> 01:03:28,838 You want me to look bad? 1176 01:03:28,871 --> 01:03:30,406 It was refrigerated and everything. 1177 01:03:33,075 --> 01:03:35,278 This doesn't feel right. Jerry should be with us. 1178 01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:36,412 Where's my hat? 1179 01:03:36,445 --> 01:03:38,447 Maybe it's best that he's not here this time. 1180 01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:41,884 Hey, hey, hey, Jose! He's our bud. 1181 01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:44,487 Yeah. 1182 01:03:46,055 --> 01:03:47,290 You think he's bumming? 1183 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:50,493 Probably. 1184 01:03:50,526 --> 01:03:52,361 Hey, why don't we jam over to his place, 1185 01:03:52,395 --> 01:03:53,729 cheer him up and then ask him if he wants 1186 01:03:53,763 --> 01:03:54,897 to crash it with us. 1187 01:03:54,931 --> 01:03:57,433 Well, he's not crashing it with us, 1188 01:03:57,466 --> 01:03:59,569 but we could see how he's doing. 1189 01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:01,604 We're gonna be late to pick up the girls! 1190 01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:03,573 Let them wait, we're studs! 1191 01:04:07,610 --> 01:04:10,213 Theo, really, where's my hat? 1192 01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:45,281 Entrez . 1193 01:04:46,315 --> 01:04:47,850 Hey, hey, Jose! 1194 01:04:48,417 --> 01:04:49,485 So how do we look? 1195 01:04:51,020 --> 01:04:52,855 You look like a couple of gonads. 1196 01:04:52,888 --> 01:04:54,557 Oh, thanks. We love you too. 1197 01:04:54,590 --> 01:04:56,025 What are you guys doing here? 1198 01:04:56,058 --> 01:04:58,361 We just wanted to come and cheer you up a little. 1199 01:04:58,394 --> 01:05:01,097 By reminding me that you two dorkuses have dates 1200 01:05:01,130 --> 01:05:04,100 for the formal while I, the wizard of studliness, 1201 01:05:04,133 --> 01:05:06,102 get to stay home with the Mario Brothers? 1202 01:05:06,135 --> 01:05:07,937 Thanks a lot, that's very thoughtful. 1203 01:05:07,970 --> 01:05:09,472 Jesus, Jer, lighten up. 1204 01:05:09,505 --> 01:05:11,307 It's not like you to be so depressed. 1205 01:05:11,340 --> 01:05:12,375 Yeah, in fact, I can't believe 1206 01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:14,110 you've given up on Christy so easy. 1207 01:05:14,143 --> 01:05:16,445 She's right Zoom. I'm bad luck for her. 1208 01:05:16,479 --> 01:05:19,382 Some things are just not meant to be. 1209 01:05:19,415 --> 01:05:20,650 Would you listen to this? 1210 01:05:20,683 --> 01:05:22,485 The wizard of studliness. 1211 01:05:22,518 --> 01:05:25,054 No, look, you guys just go. 1212 01:05:25,087 --> 01:05:26,689 Have a great time. 1213 01:05:26,722 --> 01:05:29,892 I'd rather slit my wrists in private anyway, okay? 1214 01:05:30,693 --> 01:05:31,827 Oh, that's great. I mean, 1215 01:05:31,861 --> 01:05:33,729 I know we're gonna have a blast now. 1216 01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:37,333 Just kidding, no listen guys, just go ahead, just go. 1217 01:05:37,366 --> 01:05:39,902 Come on, Jer. We can't, we can't leave you like this. 1218 01:05:39,935 --> 01:05:41,504 You're not leaving me like anything. 1219 01:05:41,537 --> 01:05:42,972 Just go. 1220 01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:45,341 Come on, Jerry, we'll get a little tapioca pudding, 1221 01:05:45,374 --> 01:05:47,310 some babes, a little baby oil, 1222 01:05:47,343 --> 01:05:48,711 put them in a little swimming pool. 1223 01:05:48,744 --> 01:05:50,112 We'll get real dirty. 1224 01:05:51,180 --> 01:05:52,581 Bye. 1225 01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:54,650 Oh, Jesus. Let's get out of here. 1226 01:05:58,187 --> 01:06:00,122 What a couple of geeks! Brawk! 1227 01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,176 Are you boys just about ready? 1228 01:06:20,209 --> 01:06:21,310 Any time, Sister. 1229 01:06:21,344 --> 01:06:23,479 Oh, good. Here's your list of songs. 1230 01:06:23,946 --> 01:06:25,548 List? 1231 01:06:25,581 --> 01:06:28,417 Tie A Yellow Ribbon? Kum By Ya? 1232 01:06:29,919 --> 01:06:32,021 You really expect us to play this stuff? 1233 01:06:32,054 --> 01:06:34,857 Well, of course. Why not? 1234 01:06:34,890 --> 01:06:37,593 Well, you know, It's not our type of thing. You know? 1235 01:06:37,626 --> 01:06:40,663 Oh, now, now young man. Let's not forget 1236 01:06:40,696 --> 01:06:43,099 who's paying the piper tonight? 1237 01:06:49,472 --> 01:06:51,407 That's not on the list. 1238 01:06:53,342 --> 01:06:55,511 Good evening, Sister Felicia! 1239 01:06:55,544 --> 01:06:57,680 Oh, hi, Kathleen. 1240 01:06:57,713 --> 01:06:59,582 I can't tell you what an 1241 01:06:59,615 --> 01:07:02,918 enormous pleasure it is to be here this fine evening. 1242 01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,353 That's nice. 1243 01:07:05,221 --> 01:07:07,423 Is there anything I can help you with? 1244 01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:12,061 No, no, you and your date just go and have a good time. 1245 01:07:12,094 --> 01:07:13,996 Well, I don't have a date. 1246 01:07:14,029 --> 01:07:16,899 I don't plan to date until I'm 21. 1247 01:07:16,932 --> 01:07:19,502 I'm saving myself for my husband. 1248 01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:21,404 Really? 1249 01:07:21,437 --> 01:07:25,741 That certainly is a refreshing notion in this day and age. 1250 01:07:31,981 --> 01:07:34,116 Hi, guys and girls! 1251 01:07:34,150 --> 01:07:35,484 Hi, Sister. 1252 01:07:35,518 --> 01:07:38,287 Are you kids all set to get in there and boogi-oogie? 1253 01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:41,524 Oh, yes, ma'am. We're ready to get uptight, out of sight 1254 01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,626 I want to you to remember the rules: there will be 1255 01:07:43,659 --> 01:07:47,863 no loud talking, no slurping the punch, no close dancing, 1256 01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:51,767 and keep both feet on the floor at all times. 1257 01:07:51,801 --> 01:07:53,969 Now, you kids get in there and enjoy yourselves. 1258 01:07:54,003 --> 01:07:55,404 Yes, Sister. 1259 01:07:58,874 --> 01:08:00,342 Whoo-whoo! 1260 01:08:08,484 --> 01:08:10,553 You got all the stuff in place? 1261 01:08:10,586 --> 01:08:15,324 Mmm-hmm, and I got a little something extra. 1262 01:08:15,357 --> 01:08:18,994 You idiot. Do you want to blow the whole thing? 1263 01:08:20,863 --> 01:08:23,165 I just thought that you and I would get together later, 1264 01:08:23,199 --> 01:08:24,366 that's all. 1265 01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:25,534 Well, it's too risky. 1266 01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:28,838 Just get rid of it and meet me in the storage room. 1267 01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:44,353 Oh, Sister Romona! 1268 01:08:44,386 --> 01:08:47,323 Oh, look at the boys and girls having such a good time. 1269 01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:48,424 Isn't this fun? 1270 01:08:48,457 --> 01:08:52,094 Yes, it, it truly is a lovely party, Mommy! 1271 01:08:52,127 --> 01:08:53,429 Oh, ho! 1272 01:08:53,462 --> 01:08:55,698 Well now we better make sure that they do behave them 1273 01:08:55,731 --> 01:08:57,967 Oh, look, look at that couple over there, Sister. 1274 01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:01,203 Just a little too close. You take care of it. 1275 01:09:01,237 --> 01:09:03,405 Go get them, Sister Romona! 1276 01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:05,908 So, I figured I'd gamble, right? 1277 01:09:05,941 --> 01:09:08,511 Grab the old five iron and lofted 1278 01:09:08,544 --> 01:09:11,147 a perfect fader around the tree. 1279 01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:16,452 Bit the green like a piranha, rolled uphill 1280 01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:20,389 and bingo, in the cup, 180 yards! 1281 01:09:20,422 --> 01:09:22,124 Can you believe that? 1282 01:09:22,157 --> 01:09:24,126 That's awesome, Leonard. 1283 01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:25,961 Next week I'm gonna get a new set of Pings. 1284 01:09:34,904 --> 01:09:36,805 Yo! Sister! 1285 01:09:36,839 --> 01:09:38,440 Leonard Klappner! 1286 01:09:38,474 --> 01:09:40,509 How do you do, Leonard? Hello, Christy. 1287 01:09:40,543 --> 01:09:41,710 Sister. 1288 01:09:41,744 --> 01:09:45,114 Your folks, they haven't arrived yet, have they? 1289 01:09:45,147 --> 01:09:47,283 No, but they should be here pretty soon. 1290 01:09:47,316 --> 01:09:50,319 Now, I'm sure there's no need to remind you 1291 01:09:50,352 --> 01:09:52,721 how important it is you make a good impression 1292 01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:53,789 on them tonight. 1293 01:09:53,822 --> 01:09:57,459 Hey! With me how could things go wrong? 1294 01:09:59,361 --> 01:10:01,764 Good! It's phenomenal! 1295 01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:04,266 I can't wait to see the look on Murphy's face when she 1296 01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:08,003 gets in front of the whole school and unveils this. 1297 01:10:09,071 --> 01:10:12,374 You are a real devil, Kathleen. 1298 01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:15,578 You got the cherry bombs? 1299 01:10:15,611 --> 01:10:17,580 Yeah. All hooked up and ready to blow. 1300 01:10:17,613 --> 01:10:19,949 All I have to do is set the timer. 1301 01:10:21,784 --> 01:10:23,385 And the whip cream. 1302 01:10:24,253 --> 01:10:26,121 Ah, I can't wait. 1303 01:10:27,289 --> 01:10:29,358 Now the presentation is at 10:00 p.m. 1304 01:10:29,391 --> 01:10:32,528 So you meet me back here at five of, sharp! 1305 01:10:32,561 --> 01:10:34,930 You got it? 1306 01:10:34,964 --> 01:10:37,232 Anything for you, honey dumplings. 1307 01:10:55,851 --> 01:10:57,987 Heck of a party, eh, Sister? 1308 01:10:58,020 --> 01:11:00,222 Your Excellency, you made it! 1309 01:11:00,255 --> 01:11:02,324 Well I wouldn't want to miss your big event. 1310 01:11:03,025 --> 01:11:04,927 Any sign of you know who? 1311 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,263 No, and I don't know what's keeping them. 1312 01:11:07,296 --> 01:11:09,198 I'd hate to see them back out now. 1313 01:11:09,231 --> 01:11:11,166 We wouldn't want this to be your last hurrah, 1314 01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:12,234 now would we? 1315 01:11:12,267 --> 01:11:14,069 We certainly wouldn't, Bishop. 1316 01:11:23,579 --> 01:11:26,982 Sister Felicia, what's in this punch? 1317 01:11:27,583 --> 01:11:28,751 What's in it? 1318 01:11:28,784 --> 01:11:32,955 Well it's sherbet, fruit punch all the usual stuff. Why? 1319 01:11:34,356 --> 01:11:37,660 It's excellent. I've never tasted anything like it. 1320 01:11:37,693 --> 01:11:39,795 Oh really? I'll have to have some. 1321 01:11:39,828 --> 01:11:41,630 Oh, yes, please. 1322 01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:43,832 Ahh! 1323 01:11:50,906 --> 01:11:52,107 Can I help you, young man? 1324 01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:53,909 No I'm just here to take a few pictures. 1325 01:11:53,942 --> 01:11:55,811 I'm sorry, I don't remember hearing anything 1326 01:11:55,844 --> 01:11:57,579 about a photographer. 1327 01:11:57,613 --> 01:12:00,649 Listen, ma'am, all I know is the school already paid for 1328 01:12:00,683 --> 01:12:03,152 the service and the studio sent me over here. 1329 01:12:03,185 --> 01:12:04,820 I can either do it or not. 1330 01:12:04,853 --> 01:12:07,523 It doesn't matter to me. 1331 01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:09,992 Well, all right, if we paid for it. 1332 01:12:26,308 --> 01:12:28,077 Now the way I see it, 1333 01:12:28,110 --> 01:12:29,378 with your looks 1334 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:32,348 and my brains and looks, 1335 01:12:32,381 --> 01:12:35,250 we could produce a whole litter of super achievers! 1336 01:12:39,254 --> 01:12:43,125 You want my studley body, I mean, admit it. 1337 01:12:43,158 --> 01:12:46,061 Leonard, don't make me put a footprint in your scrotum. 1338 01:12:46,095 --> 01:12:47,963 It wouldn't be pretty. 1339 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:52,267 I love it when you talk violent. 1340 01:12:53,469 --> 01:12:54,470 Mmm! 1341 01:12:55,270 --> 01:12:56,972 Where are those Murphys? 1342 01:12:59,842 --> 01:13:03,679 Oh, Dick, isn't this romantic? 1343 01:13:03,712 --> 01:13:06,348 It reminds me of our very first date. 1344 01:13:07,750 --> 01:13:09,651 We went to Arby's on our first date. 1345 01:13:09,685 --> 01:13:11,587 No that was our second. 1346 01:13:12,554 --> 01:13:15,257 My prom was our first. 1347 01:13:15,958 --> 01:13:18,660 Now seeing it all here again, 1348 01:13:18,694 --> 01:13:20,496 it just makes me want to 1349 01:13:20,529 --> 01:13:22,498 Ooh, you know what. 1350 01:13:22,531 --> 01:13:24,366 Margaret, please! 1351 01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,935 This a proper gathering. 1352 01:13:27,536 --> 01:13:28,670 Save it for later. 1353 01:13:39,381 --> 01:13:42,518 Boy, oh, boy, Sister! If you could bottle this stuff 1354 01:13:42,551 --> 01:13:46,121 and sell it, your money troubles would be over. 1355 01:13:46,155 --> 01:13:49,391 It sure beats and car sales and bake washes. 1356 01:13:49,424 --> 01:13:50,692 Ahh! Yeah! 1357 01:13:50,726 --> 01:13:52,995 Good evening, folks. 1358 01:13:53,028 --> 01:13:56,031 Well, well, if it isn't Mr. and Mrs. Moneybags. 1359 01:13:57,733 --> 01:14:00,068 I beg your pardon? 1360 01:14:00,102 --> 01:14:03,071 Excuse us, Mr. Murphy, we're all just on kind of 1361 01:14:03,105 --> 01:14:05,307 natural high tonight. 1362 01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:06,508 Here try some punch. Oh, thanks. 1363 01:14:10,646 --> 01:14:13,649 I think you all be very pleased with the little 1364 01:14:13,682 --> 01:14:14,917 piece of paper I brought 1365 01:14:14,950 --> 01:14:16,318 here to hand over to you tonight. 1366 01:14:16,351 --> 01:14:18,353 Oh, Mr. Murphy! 1367 01:14:18,387 --> 01:14:20,289 I know that God is saving 1368 01:14:20,322 --> 01:14:22,925 a special place in heaven for you. 1369 01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:26,028 Holy shit! 1370 01:14:26,061 --> 01:14:29,932 I mean, wow, this punch is fantastic. 1371 01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:33,669 Margaret, try some, try some, Margaret. 1372 01:14:33,702 --> 01:14:35,037 Smile everybody. 1373 01:14:37,806 --> 01:14:40,342 Do you believe in pre-marital interdigitation? 1374 01:14:40,375 --> 01:14:41,577 No way! 1375 01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:43,178 What's that? 1376 01:14:43,212 --> 01:14:45,948 Do you believe in pre-marital oscullation? 1377 01:14:45,981 --> 01:14:47,883 You really are a pre-vert, aren't you? 1378 01:14:47,916 --> 01:14:49,418 Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it. 1379 01:14:51,053 --> 01:14:53,455 Jesus! Pardon my goose. 1380 01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:54,857 Have you guys seen Christy anywhere? 1381 01:14:54,890 --> 01:14:56,258 Because I have to find her right away. 1382 01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:57,426 She's around here someplace. 1383 01:14:57,459 --> 01:14:59,495 I'm don't know if she wants to see you though. 1384 01:14:59,528 --> 01:15:02,564 Hey does Jerry Kaminski know what he's doing or what? 1385 01:15:02,598 --> 01:15:04,666 Tell her, Theo. 1386 01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:06,668 He's got no idea what he's doing. 1387 01:15:08,403 --> 01:15:14,443 Oh, Dick, I just feel so warm and gooey inside. 1388 01:15:14,476 --> 01:15:17,880 I could just beat the hell out of you! 1389 01:15:17,913 --> 01:15:20,449 No, please, Margaret, not now. 1390 01:15:20,482 --> 01:15:23,318 All right, baby. Whoo! Sorry, folks. 1391 01:15:24,753 --> 01:15:27,055 Hey, hey! Hey, hey! 1392 01:15:27,089 --> 01:15:28,590 Hey, young love birds. 1393 01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:29,992 Hi, Dad, hi, Mom. 1394 01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:31,727 Are you having a good time? 1395 01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:33,795 You bet we are, sir. I mean, 1396 01:15:33,829 --> 01:15:35,297 I may just have to take this young girl off 1397 01:15:35,330 --> 01:15:37,132 your hands one of these days. 1398 01:15:47,509 --> 01:15:48,577 Well, Christy, 1399 01:15:48,610 --> 01:15:51,446 it seems they finally made a young lady out of you. 1400 01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:53,615 I trust you're not going to blow it. 1401 01:15:53,649 --> 01:15:57,085 Come on, Margaret, let's get some more of that punch. 1402 01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:01,957 All right! 1403 01:16:04,793 --> 01:16:06,261 Ahh. 1404 01:16:15,704 --> 01:16:16,738 Ow! 1405 01:16:16,772 --> 01:16:18,073 Thank you, Sister. 1406 01:16:18,106 --> 01:16:19,141 Christy! 1407 01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:20,342 Hi. 1408 01:16:20,375 --> 01:16:22,577 The presentation is going to be any minute now. 1409 01:16:22,611 --> 01:16:24,613 Are you all set to do your thing? 1410 01:16:24,646 --> 01:16:25,681 I think so. 1411 01:16:25,714 --> 01:16:28,850 Wow! This is going to be all time. 1412 01:16:28,884 --> 01:16:31,553 I'm going to go set everything up. All right. 1413 01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:34,856 Leonard! Why don't you go take a cold shower? 1414 01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:38,327 Yo, baby! 1415 01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:40,896 To the Academy! 1416 01:16:44,399 --> 01:16:46,134 Hey take one of us! 1417 01:16:49,304 --> 01:16:50,739 Leonard, will you knock it off! 1418 01:16:50,772 --> 01:16:52,474 Oh, momma! 1419 01:16:52,507 --> 01:16:54,076 Damn it, Leonard! 1420 01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:55,510 Oh, no. 1421 01:16:55,544 --> 01:16:58,246 What? Not tonight of all nights. 1422 01:16:58,981 --> 01:17:00,916 Who? The photographer? 1423 01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,352 I should have known he'd show up here. 1424 01:17:03,385 --> 01:17:05,053 You want me to kick his ass? 1425 01:17:05,087 --> 01:17:08,190 No Leonard, just block his view and don't let him see me. 1426 01:17:08,223 --> 01:17:09,257 Oh! 1427 01:17:13,562 --> 01:17:14,796 Psst! 1428 01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,450 One more toast! 1429 01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:36,852 To our hero! 1430 01:17:40,856 --> 01:17:43,592 Oh, that's our cue. Come on campers! 1431 01:17:43,625 --> 01:17:45,527 Let's go, Sister Fellatio! 1432 01:17:54,036 --> 01:17:55,670 Hi, everybody. 1433 01:17:55,704 --> 01:17:58,373 Hi, Sister Felicia. 1434 01:17:58,407 --> 01:18:00,409 Are we all having fun? 1435 01:18:00,442 --> 01:18:02,310 Mmm. 1436 01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:05,213 Oh, you can do better than that! 1437 01:18:05,247 --> 01:18:07,949 Come on, are we all having fun? 1438 01:18:07,983 --> 01:18:10,052 Mmm. 1439 01:18:10,085 --> 01:18:11,086 That's better. 1440 01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:15,457 Well, first a few announcements. 1441 01:18:15,490 --> 01:18:17,159 The field hockey team is 1442 01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:21,463 playing St. Elizabeth's for 6th place next Tuesday. 1443 01:18:21,496 --> 01:18:23,732 It's already started. Hurry up! 1444 01:18:24,666 --> 01:18:25,934 Hurry Up! Damn it! 1445 01:18:25,967 --> 01:18:28,070 I'm going as fast as I can. 1446 01:18:28,737 --> 01:18:30,372 And don't forget, 1447 01:18:30,405 --> 01:18:33,975 there's an extra confession scheduled for tomorrow 1448 01:18:34,009 --> 01:18:38,647 for those of us that have had too much fun tonight! 1449 01:18:39,714 --> 01:18:41,383 Oh, yeah! 1450 01:18:59,468 --> 01:19:01,670 Woo! That was wild. 1451 01:19:03,371 --> 01:19:07,476 Well, now we have some wonderful news 1452 01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:10,011 for the Academy tonight. 1453 01:19:10,045 --> 01:19:15,183 I'm going to hand it over to Mr. Dick Murphy 1454 01:19:15,217 --> 01:19:17,052 to tell us all about it. 1455 01:19:17,085 --> 01:19:18,754 Mr. Murphy. 1456 01:19:25,627 --> 01:19:27,562 Thank you. 1457 01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:29,464 Is this working? 1458 01:19:31,233 --> 01:19:33,034 Sister Felicia, 1459 01:19:33,969 --> 01:19:35,637 Bishop Haughness, 1460 01:19:35,670 --> 01:19:37,839 students and friends, 1461 01:19:38,707 --> 01:19:42,844 on behalf of the Gelt Gouger Foundation 1462 01:19:42,878 --> 01:19:46,014 and in recognition of your school's achievements, 1463 01:19:46,047 --> 01:19:50,152 I'd like to present you with this check 1464 01:19:50,185 --> 01:19:53,622 for $350,000. 1465 01:20:06,134 --> 01:20:10,238 Oh, thank you, thank you so much Mr. Murphy 1466 01:20:10,272 --> 01:20:14,376 or as you will always be known to us, St. Dick. 1467 01:20:23,818 --> 01:20:27,556 Well, next on the agenda we're going to 1468 01:20:31,993 --> 01:20:36,064 Before Bishop Haughness says a few words to us, 1469 01:20:36,097 --> 01:20:37,332 I've been told that there's 1470 01:20:37,365 --> 01:20:39,034 one more important announcement. 1471 01:20:39,067 --> 01:20:40,669 Christy, come on. 1472 01:20:44,472 --> 01:20:47,175 Um, because the Academy has been such a 1473 01:20:47,209 --> 01:20:50,345 special place for us to go to school, the senior girls would 1474 01:20:50,378 --> 01:20:53,682 like to dedicate a small token of our esteem to the Academy. 1475 01:20:53,715 --> 01:20:55,917 Sister, your Excellency, 1476 01:20:58,620 --> 01:21:00,522 a few words in parting 1477 01:21:00,555 --> 01:21:01,923 Did I mention what a great group 1478 01:21:01,957 --> 01:21:03,558 of seniors we had this year? 1479 01:21:03,592 --> 01:21:05,694 What the heck is she talking about? 1480 01:21:10,232 --> 01:21:12,334 Get Kathleen up there! 1481 01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:14,603 Kathleen, yes, Kathleen, 1482 01:21:14,636 --> 01:21:16,605 let's get our very own Kathleen up here. 1483 01:21:16,638 --> 01:21:19,975 No, no way, I can't I have nothing prepared. 1484 01:21:20,008 --> 01:21:22,510 Stage fright. I have stage fright, okay? 1485 01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:24,045 Oh, come on Kathleen. 1486 01:21:24,079 --> 01:21:25,914 Everybody knows this is your baby. 1487 01:21:25,947 --> 01:21:27,682 Come on up here and give her a rip. 1488 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,784 No, no, I can't really, I can't. 1489 01:21:31,419 --> 01:21:32,721 Oh, the hell with it. 1490 01:21:32,754 --> 01:21:34,155 No wait! 1491 01:21:36,925 --> 01:21:38,159 Holy headlights! 1492 01:21:39,661 --> 01:21:41,563 What? 1493 01:21:41,596 --> 01:21:44,232 Kathleen! Derek! What is the meaning of this? 1494 01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:45,800 Bye! 1495 01:21:45,834 --> 01:21:47,769 Is this somebody's idea of a joke? 1496 01:21:47,802 --> 01:21:49,571 Derek, go after her. 1497 01:21:51,439 --> 01:21:54,843 Christy, what the Sam Hill is going on here? 1498 01:21:54,876 --> 01:21:57,045 I thought it was a picture of the Blessed Virgin! 1499 01:21:57,078 --> 01:21:58,813 Right and I'm the king of Siam. 1500 01:21:58,847 --> 01:22:00,315 No really I did. 1501 01:22:00,348 --> 01:22:02,884 Oh, Mr. Murphy, we are so sorry. 1502 01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:06,187 I assure you, we are going to catch those guilty parties 1503 01:22:06,221 --> 01:22:08,256 and they will be punished. 1504 01:22:11,026 --> 01:22:12,761 For your sake I hope so. 1505 01:22:12,794 --> 01:22:15,563 But in the meantime, I certainly can't let the 1506 01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:17,966 good name of the Gelt Gouger Foundation 1507 01:22:17,999 --> 01:22:19,467 be associated with a place 1508 01:22:19,501 --> 01:22:21,803 where this kind of thing goes on. 1509 01:22:23,538 --> 01:22:26,908 Oh, now wait a second here. Let's not be rash. 1510 01:22:26,941 --> 01:22:28,910 Sorry, I've got my responsibilities. 1511 01:22:28,943 --> 01:22:31,513 Christy, pack your mukluks. 1512 01:22:31,546 --> 01:22:32,580 We're leaving. 1513 01:22:32,614 --> 01:22:33,882 Dad, please 1514 01:22:33,915 --> 01:22:36,084 Oh please, Mr. Murphy, if you could just reconsider. 1515 01:22:36,117 --> 01:22:40,021 No! No! No! 1516 01:22:42,624 --> 01:22:45,126 Come on, Margaret, we're leaving. 1517 01:22:59,140 --> 01:23:00,775 Oh! 1518 01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:04,245 This is not what it appears to be. 1519 01:23:06,181 --> 01:23:10,218 Sister, this wouldn't go beyond here, would it? 1520 01:23:12,220 --> 01:23:13,989 Hey, who did that? 1521 01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:16,658 You have nothing to worry about, sir. 1522 01:23:16,691 --> 01:23:20,061 We all have our responsibilities. 1523 01:23:20,095 --> 01:23:22,263 Now wait just one minute! 1524 01:23:22,297 --> 01:23:24,165 Oh, forget it, Dick. 1525 01:23:24,199 --> 01:23:25,734 They've seen us. 1526 01:23:27,435 --> 01:23:29,337 I'm getting some punch. 1527 01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:32,741 Margaret, wait! 1528 01:23:36,211 --> 01:23:38,046 Oh, what the hell! 1529 01:23:39,814 --> 01:23:41,349 Let's party. 1530 01:23:52,627 --> 01:23:54,229 Hit it, dudes! 1531 01:24:04,339 --> 01:24:07,642 Christy, your father has something to say to you. 1532 01:24:07,675 --> 01:24:09,277 Go ahead, Dick. 1533 01:24:09,310 --> 01:24:12,881 Right. Well under the circumstances 1534 01:24:14,149 --> 01:24:15,750 Honey, I just wanted to 1535 01:24:16,885 --> 01:24:18,553 I can't quite figure out how to say it. 1536 01:24:18,586 --> 01:24:21,356 He's sorry for jumping to conclusions about you. 1537 01:24:21,389 --> 01:24:24,159 Yeah, and well, 1538 01:24:24,192 --> 01:24:25,527 what I mean is 1539 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:29,497 He feels maybe he's been a little too strict with you. 1540 01:24:29,531 --> 01:24:33,835 Uh-huh, because the thing is How can I put this 1541 01:24:34,869 --> 01:24:36,671 He only did it because he loves you. 1542 01:24:36,704 --> 01:24:38,273 But now that you're older 1543 01:24:38,306 --> 01:24:40,575 maybe we can learn to trust you a bit more. 1544 01:24:41,209 --> 01:24:42,844 Right. That's it. 1545 01:24:42,877 --> 01:24:45,480 Dad, I never thought I'd hear you say that. 1546 01:24:45,513 --> 01:24:47,615 Don't worry dear, you didn't. 1547 01:24:48,516 --> 01:24:50,819 Let's go, hot stuff! 1548 01:25:05,166 --> 01:25:06,768 So, I'm just getting up to speed 1549 01:25:06,801 --> 01:25:08,470 and there's this unwelcome thud on the 1550 01:25:08,503 --> 01:25:09,904 ragtop of my cruiser. 1551 01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:11,973 No! Mr. Murphy? 1552 01:25:12,006 --> 01:25:14,142 Old St. Dick himself. 1553 01:25:14,175 --> 01:25:16,411 I guess I shouldn't have parked in their driveway. 1554 01:25:16,444 --> 01:25:18,246 I guess that's why fathers don't like 1555 01:25:18,279 --> 01:25:20,915 buying expensive prom dresses for their daughters. 1556 01:25:20,949 --> 01:25:22,217 Why's that? 1557 01:25:22,250 --> 01:25:24,519 Because they know that sometime during that night, 1558 01:25:24,552 --> 01:25:26,721 it's going to end up wrapped around her ears. 1559 01:25:28,022 --> 01:25:29,324 So what happened to Christy? 1560 01:25:29,357 --> 01:25:31,292 Packing her mukluks as we speak. 1561 01:25:31,326 --> 01:25:32,794 They're sending her to Godthab. 1562 01:25:32,827 --> 01:25:34,295 Godthab, where's that? 1563 01:25:34,329 --> 01:25:35,630 Greenland. 1564 01:25:35,663 --> 01:25:38,166 What's the plan now Jerry? You gonna go up to Greenland 1565 01:25:38,199 --> 01:25:40,535 and bust in to Godthab dressed as an Eskimo? 1566 01:25:40,568 --> 01:25:43,705 That's Greenland, Zoomer, not Alaska. 1567 01:25:43,738 --> 01:25:45,340 Actually, guys, this time 1568 01:25:45,373 --> 01:25:47,675 I thought I'd dress up as a gynecologist. 1569 01:25:47,709 --> 01:25:49,444 You mean a poon doctor?